[caption id="attachment_358" align="aligncenter" width="480" caption=""It's all gone quiet." said Roobarb. "Too quiet." said Custard."]
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Day One
Upset stomach, bathroom, wash hands, upset stomach, bathroom, wash hands, blackcurrant drink (the electrolyte kind, replaces your depleted water and body salts), Lomotil, bathroom, wash hands, random chest/lung pain, upset stomach, bathroom, wash hands, drink, generally feel unwell, pooter, microblog, pooter, microblog, UPSET STOMACH, go to bathroom, wash hands, go to sleep.
Day One
Wake on two hours sleep, cry, no cough, no coffee, no cereal, no blow, walk around, bathroom, wash hands, electrolytes, Lomotil, stuff kleenex up nose, wash hands, nap, more stuff up nose, wash hands, try to eat, nap, wake up not eating, nap, drain, wash hands, read side effects, load Spotify, make playlist for neckbeard people, no dinner, dry toast, change clothes, blow nose, sniffle, cry, take Lomotil, sleep. But not before Lomotil Poodle visits and makes a few suggestions, like “you should shit in your pants and install Windows!” Ignore Lomotil Poodle, sleep.
Day One
Sleep fitfully for 3 hours, wake up way past 3 am, no breakfast, forget to drink coffee, try to get up, curse the darkness, lay on bed, groan, move to sofa, groan, go back to bed, sleep, groan, cry, rumble, bathroom, wash hands, cry, rumble, bucket, wash hands, sleep, get up before lighttime, stare at food, groan, find out you’ve had another shift, wash clothes, wash hands: “5AM – ???”; consider career as sith and/or Lomotil Poodle, complain to no one in particular, no beer, chocolate croissants, inevitable comeback, mood improving, intestines still, (there may or may not have been dancing at this point), spin superhits of the Super 80s, “neckbeard guy from identi.ca thanks you for the Awesome Cool,” thank them for their support by playing Robert Smith whining over Gothic new wave, juice, microblog, soup, dry bread, microblog, Lomotil, sleep.
Day Two
Stay home. Sleep. Think about how much fun it is cooking rhubarb.
[caption id="attachment_360" align="aligncenter" width="420" caption="I didn't have any custard."]
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With apologies and credit due to Frankenstein Jones' 'How To Double Your Blog Readership In One Mighty Pretty Cute Cat Picture Post'.
Disclaimer: no kittens were harmed during the making of this blog post.