Good Godman! Why Is This So Difficult?

Yet again, I have waited in all day, quiet as a mouse so that I can hear the buzzer to my flat's intercom go 'Buzzzzz! Buzzzzz!' alerting me to the fact that one of your drivers has successfully delivered the items I ordered from Amazon yesterday safe in the knowledge that as a valued Amazon Prime customer I am guaranteed 'free' next day delivery. I say 'free' because I do of course pay for this particular privilege. No doubt some of that premium goes to your company's shareholders and other tax avoiders. I pay for guaranteed next day delivery so that I can guarantee being at home and available to receive the goods and not at work, so that I don't have to go through this excruciating battle every time.

I note that your CityLink Service Alert [PDF] makes no mention of Wednesbury or Cricklewood the two depots where my goods supposedly have been so far.

Amazon's parcel tracker

CityLink's parcel tracker

I see no snow or other natural disasters occurring outside my window. I wonder what can the matter be? No card in my post box pretending that I was out when I was in. No message from Stuart Godman himself offering to refund my Amazon Prime subscription for providing a less than first class and as far removed from customer centric service as I can imagine it's possible to get.

Here is a suggestion for Stuart. If you want to improve your customers' experience, why don't you try delivering next day for once? I mean, how hard can it really be? Even the Royal Mail can still manage that!

The only possible explanation I can think of is that Amazon have been defrauded by a charlatan company pretending to be the great and fantastic real CityLink.

No doubt your company will go to extra lengths and do whatever it takes to attempt to deliver my goods tomorrow - WHEN I'LL BE OUT AT WORK. And then we can go through this whole palaver all over again after I have had to beg and plead with someone, as if they are doing me a special favour, to re-deliver on Thursday when I will again be at home. Maybe. Maybe I should get out more and spend my money in the High Street. But I've been seriously ill these last few months and that hasn't really been an option. Plus, if you think I'm angry now, you should see me in an actual shop!

Anyway, enough ranting. Please deliver my goods today. If that's too much to expect, please don't deliver them tomorrow as it will be a complete waste of your time and money as I won't be in to receive them. If you really can't deliver tonight, please deliver them on Thursday. I would really rather not have to go through this all again with you tomorrow night because you are just doing your job, following procedures and ignoring your customer's wishes. Stuart wouldn't want that either, I'm sure.

One of, I imagine, many of your truly pissed off customers,

David Marsden

CityLink: Ensuring Your Goods Arrive Safely, On Time, In Full. Or Not At All.

Dear Amazon,

I just wanted to let you know that the courier firm you use for next-day delivery of Amazon Prime ordered goods are completely incompetent.

You know them as CityLink. I call them ShittyLink.

I timed my order so that delivery would be on a day when I was at home. They were supposed to deliver Tuesday 13 July. I waited in all day. Nothing.

Checked the tracking information on their website throughout the day. Nothing. Only after 5:30 did they update it to say that delivery had been attempted 'but no one was in and card left'.

Nobody attempted delivery and no card was left.

Phoned to arrange redelivery for today 15 July, when I'm at home again as I was out all yesterday. ShittyLink acknowledge they agreed to this request. Tracking information states they tried to deliver again yesterday, no one was in (of course) and the left a card (which, of course, they didn't).

Phoned them again just now and they 'offered' to ask one of their drivers to see if he could deliver it 'on his way home'. I declined this 'offer' and requested that they guarantee delivery today as agreed previously, along with a card apologising for being lying, incompetent bastards who make Amazon look stupid and treat their Prime paying customers with utter contempt.

This whole thing (not the first time this has happened, either) makes me want to stop buying from Amazon. I hope you will take this seriously in spite of my obvious and justified anger and sarcasm.

Yours sincerely,

A pissed off customer.

[caption id="attachment_342" align="aligncenter" width="472" caption="FAIL"][/caption]


Update: reply from Amazon:

Dear Mr. Marsden, Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk with your comments about Citylink. I am very sorry to hear that you are not satisfied with the service that you have received. We are committed to delivering your order from the moment it is placed. We take full responsibility should any item become lost or damaged while being delivered and we are more than happy to replace these items at our own cost. This is not a common occurrence but when it does happen, we will endeavour to find a solution. Please be assured that we monitor the service that our carriers provide and if we feel that the service reflects negatively upon Amazon.co.uk, we will take measures to ensure corrective actions are taken. The feedback that you have provided will be used in our efforts to improve the service. At the moment, we are not able to promise you that your future orders will not be dispatched by this method, but will continue working with all of our carriers to drive improvements for our customers. We apologise for any inconvenience caused by this issue and hope this will not discourage you from shopping with Amazon.co.uk in the future. Did I solve your problem? Warmest regards Claire Amazon.co.uk Your feedback is helping us build Earth's Most Customer-Centric Company.
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